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Precious Little Sleep - the book

UPDATE August 2016
The manuscript in the hands of a fancy-pants major book editor who is taking my verbose prose and cutting it back until it’s sharp and pithy. So things are moving forward – Tally Ho!

Precious Little Sleep by Alexis Dubief (me) is well underway and will launch January of 2016. You’ll find a practical framework to help you identify the strategy that fits your specific situation and parenting style with step-by-step guidelines. It will cover things like:

  • What sleep strategy fits your situation (because every child is different)
  • Specific action plans based on age and personality
  • Realistic answers to “what do I do now?”
  • Common potholes and how you can avoid them (or climb out if you’ve already fallen in)
  • How to go back to work without cratering your sleep successes
  • How to solve the two most common sleep challenges: sleep training and successful night weaning
  • How to avoid landing in Cryitoutsville (and what to do if you have landed there)

It will also delve into topics not generally covered elsewhere including: sleep regressions, using (and losing) sleep tools like swings, swaddle blankets, etc., nap schedules and transitions, navigating daycare, big kid bedtime battles, and how to get your child to sleep in time to watch Game of Thrones.

There was a hugely successful Kickstarter campaign to support this project and I’m ENORMOUSLY grateful for everybody who contributed to the cause. Those much-needed funds will be used for editing, proofreading, layout, design, and illustration. I’m also working with some incredible subject-matter experts on lactation and child psychology.

You all have my undying gratitude because I literally couldn’t have done this without you!

Sincerely,
Alexis

 

52 Comments


  1. when and where can i buy your book? 2015? can’t wait that long, 6 week old and 3 yr old twins… E.A.S.Y. great in theory, but naps are short, what then? feed every hr? he doesn’t even want that. thanks

    • Yep, early 2015. What can I say, this book writing business is a ton of work!

      You know 6 weeks is the worst right? Least amount of sleep and most crying at 6 weeks. Everything gets better (itty bitty each week) from here on out. In the meantime you do all of this stuff:
      http://www.troublesometots.com/newborn-baby-sleep-survival-guide/

      And you buy your 3 YO twins compliance with treats and TV time (it’s temporary!)
      Good luck!
      Alexis

      • Awesome. My next door neighbor has a 6-week-old that has trouble napping and just this morning I recommended your site – gonna print out this link and tape it to his door. (It’s NYC so even though we live w/in 10 feet of each other I don’t know his name – or forgot it – and we only ever chat randomly in the elevator.)

      • Where can I buy this? Please tell me.

        Until then, please help… πŸ™‚
        I tried the baby whisperer with my daughter- UTTER fail, I still have post traumatic stress from it πŸ™‚ She just started to get a little better at sleeping (almost 3).

        I didn’t want to go down that road with my son (now 6 months) so just decided to go with the flow. He is a MUCH happier and easier baby so he adapted…but it has turned into a dilema as he would only sleep on me or carseat so I got NO downtime ever (totally my fault) accidental parenting. However, was so scarred from last sleep training.

        So we started Baby whisper with him (6 months) this weekend. The good news. He sleeps on his own in the crib at night now, gets up once at 4 am (I am good with this, I feed him even though it says not to).

        However as you suggested crap naps and I am afraid he is hungry. I just started solid foods, can I do this before his nap, or does it need to be breast milk. It would be nice to be able to leave the house with my daughter on weekends and have husband feed son food, vs., being tied to the house for each nap. Please tell me what is best to do before his naps, is breast milk the best? if so I will start pumping I guess πŸ™‚ I am the one with him all week so no worries but on weekends I would like a tiny bit of flexibility so I can go out with my daughter and not worried that I have to rush home πŸ™‚

        Also the only thing I like about the baby whisper is the schedule-ish so I have some idea when to do things. I am a go with the flow type of person, so I hate schedules but need something to get him on more of a routine.

        Sorry about all the questions…. desperately trying to figure it out, I will DEFINITELY recommend your book to all my friends.

  2. thanks! I love that finally someone understands how these sleep books work only if your baby has read then and agreed to follow all the easy steps! I have not swaddled for naps but will and will make more use of our swing! Our biggest problem is his gas. He is on meds for reflux which has helped his screaming rigid body, but still after asleep peacefully for a few mins he grunts, then mushles, then more grunts followed by a whimper and it escalates until he is crying and waking! happens while he nurses sometimes too. i produce tons of milk so we think he’s so gassy from more foremilk. just so sad to see him in pain not to mention no long stretches of sleep. have a wonderful dr who istrying help with my milk supply, but needed to vent to others because i feel so helpless to make him comfortable and wondering when we will see a change. thanks again for all the info you give us “at the end of the rope” mothers!

  3. Great…but what about now? πŸ™ My 10 month old will not sleep and by the time this book is released I’ll be literally dead from sleep deprivation.

    • Well I’ve got a pretty solid website here full of solutions πŸ™‚

      • I love how you reply to these comments, you’re kind even when the people are lashing out at you in their sleep deprived state – I’m sure they too appreciate your advice! I just want to say thank you for the time you put into this website, I have found it invaluable! Not everything has worked for my 7 week old but every baby is different and that’s what everyone forgets. Can’t wait for the book to come out, great work and thanks again!

        • Thanks Kristin πŸ™‚

          I totally get how tired makes you cranky (my husband defends my sleep because I go full-banshee when sleep deprived) but I really appreciate the kind words. A good blogger has thick skin but mine frankly is a bit on the thin side and positive feedback keeps me smiling πŸ™‚
          Alexis

  4. Do you have any suggestions for a 2 (almost 3) year old that I can’t get to sleep? We try for 7:30, but she won’t stay in her bed and won’t fall asleep unless we are in the room. We used to put her down drowsy but awake with no issues when she was in the crib, but have had a terrible time since she moved to the bed. We end up being in there until 9.

  5. I have a 6 month old and he has never been a good sleeper but I do feel he is progressively getting worse. He naps 3 times a day, lengths vary day to day. Some days are good and some days he seems to just cat nap all day. I had him on a solid routine at 6 weeks and I could pretty much count on how long he’d sleep and wake up. But now, things are completely off track for some reason and his sleep is so sparatic. Most nights he wakes within an hour of me putting him to bed and I have to pat him back to sleep. Then he’ll go ahead and sleep for a couple hours. But he is up every 2-3 hours all night long. I don’t know why that is or what I am doing wrong or why he has fallen off his routine. I am a working breastfeeding mom. I need some sleep. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

  6. I honestly feel like this website is a God send, I am one tired working mom who loves her baby but only gets to see him cranky in the afternoons because of lack of sleep. Not to mention the fact that I am also cranky from lack of sleep..I have read countless articles and researched even more websites but I always end up with information overload which exhausts my tired mind. Your website is user friendly and laid out simply for over tired parents like myself. I am excited to start trying some of your tips tonight and so thankful that you give clear starting points. I just wanted to take a second and let you know that your words of expertise have given me hope that I can get my baby to sleep and we can start enjoying each other again. Thank you for creating this website, keep up the great work and I will definitely be buying your book in January!

    Thank you again!

  7. Hi,
    I live in Dubai – will your book be available out here? Or please (pretty please) can you make it available on kindle?
    Good luck with it!
    Thanks

    • Hey Sarah,
      100% it will be available on Kindle πŸ™‚ I’ll be working my way through various distributors (Barnes & Noble, etc.) but my first priority is getting everything perfect on Amazon. So yes you can definitely read it in Dubai as long as you don’t mind digital. Thanks for asking!

      Alexis

  8. Thanks!! Love your site! My little guy started sleeping through the night at 2 months by following your advice. I will definitely be buying the book!!

  9. So I am a recovering attachment parenting mom. I thought it was for me but after 2.5 years of co sleeping and nursing all night, I had to find another way. Now I have a 7 month old and 3.5 year old sharing a room. We have been doing CIO for 10 days. So far not working too well. So will your book include stuff about sharing a room with other siblings? Really just how to do all this sleep stuff with 2 kids would be helpful. I have never posted on a blog before so I hope I did this right. Oh and I think you are funny.

    • Hi Bridget,

      Yes you did this right πŸ™‚

      Siblings and older kids will definitely be in the book! Sorry to hear that CIO is not working out well for you. There are a bunch of reasons that might be but the two most common ones are:
      1) Being inconsistent (even in a tiny way) – it’s REALLY hard to be super consistent but there it is πŸ™
      2) Wrong bedtime (too early, too late)

      Hopefully things turn the corner for you soon!
      Alexis

  10. Cant wait for the book! I have a preemie who is now 15 weeks (9 weeks adjusted). He’s a great sleeper! Sleeps 10 hours at night since 10 weeks. Putting him to bed generally isn’t an issue but he will normally wake up 30-45 minutes later SCREAMING. My husband is also French and is a HUGE proponent of “the pause” (French parenting…) so while he doesn’t call it CIO, he insists we wait at least 5 minutes (he’d prefer longer) before going in. But 90% of the time, the poor kid just has a burp then falls asleep immediately after I get it out for him, and thats why he wakes from his sleep and starts screaming. Is this talked about at all in your book? I need some proof in writing to show my husband that we don’t need to let the not even 3 month old kid screech to teach him discipline and patience, that burps are painful. I obviously do everything to get a burp out of him before he goes to bed but am sometimes unsuccessful. No harm in going in, burping him so he’s not in pain, and be done with it, agree? Seems so practical to me but my husband is insistent on letting him “learn to deal with it” (<- I realize that makes him sound cruel – he's not! but has very strong opinions about disciplining and teaching patience)

    • Hello.

      I know that Alexis will offer you the professional advice on this but felt I should comment on this as it sounds a lot like what our daughter went through.

      She had terrible wind and she too would wake in the night screaming in pain. Like you, I would pick her up, she’d burp then go back to sleep. Have you thought about getting your little one a cot wedge? It is a covered foam (midwife and pediatrician approved) wedge that can either be put under the mattress or directly into the crib (I tucked mine under the sheet for added safety) to slightly elevate the baby in order to aid trapped wind, reflux, as well as ensure that if the baby is sick he/she can’t choke.

      I’m not sure what age they can be used from but the one we purchased was very effective for our daughter who suffered terribly with reflux and wind. She was then able to sleep for ten – twelve hours with no waking!

      I hope that this may help. Good luck with your little one and best wishes. x

  11. I’m so excited to hear about your book! This website was the absolute most helpful sleep tool for my now 2 year. Now with a new 3 month old it’s so good to go back and reread all of your advice. I recommend this site to EVERYONE who asks me anything about sleep. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

  12. Hello!

    Just wanted to say a massive “thank you” for all your advice!

    Out of nowhere, our happy, gorgeous nine month old daughter just stopped sleeping. Literally STOPPED! After nine days of sleep deprivation, I went on the internet in search of answers and was blessed (yes, BLESSED!) to find your site. I was surprised to discover that you described exactly what we were experiencing word-for-word.

    My husband and I felt we had no choice but to go for the CIO section. She already had a radio in her room providing white noise, a Mummy-Warmed Lovey and a safe cot-bed. We discussed it fully and faced it together. The first night our little one cried for 45 minutes, the second night for 20 minutes, then the third (and every night since) it was just five minutes or thereabouts. I was relieved that the crying wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated – it was more whinging than full on crying.

    It’s been nearly four weeks now and our baby is so happy. She naps better during the day, feeds better (breast, bottle and finger foods – we are currently weaning onto bottles) but best of all is that her reflux has DISAPPEARED! We are convinced that it was so bad because the lack of sleep was stressing her out.

    So, thank you from all of us in the Haley household. You’ve given us our happy little girl back. I look forward to seeing your book (hopefully) on the shelves here in England.

    Best wishes and the warmest regards. xx

    • Dear All Members of the Haley Household,

      I’m so happy to get your kind comment and thrilled that things are going so well for you! And yes – lack of sleep will stress EVERYBODY out πŸ˜›

      I will definitely get my book to England, if not on the shelves than on Amazon.uk.

      Thanks for sharing your happy news,
      Alexis

  13. Alexis,
    I don’t comment on things often, but I want you to realize how appreciated you are in our household.

    The moment we started paying attention to our 6 week old’s wake time diligently (upon scouring your blogs for hours), it changed my life. Literally the first night after following your napping rules throughout a whole day, (swing, white noise, swaddle) our 6 WEEK OLD slept from 9 pm- 6 am. Before this, we were struggling not only with nighttime sleep, but naps throughout the daytime rarely happened for any amount of time, and if they did, I had to hold her for the whole nap. This resulted in all kinds of crankiness and tears from both of us, ruining the few hours that Daddy actually gets to spend with us after he gets home from work.

    My little one is now almost 9 weeks old, and has been sleeping through every night from about 8-6, until the past couple nights. Even at our “rough patch”, though, she is only waking once to feed and going back to sleep easily. I am working today on transitioning from our loose EASY routine into nursing her to sleep, because that is what we do at bedtime anyway.

    Anyway, tips or suggestions would be appreciated, but mainly I just wanted you to know that you have made life with a newborn manageable and less scary for this schedule-obsessed mommy. I have a psychology degree, and thought I would have no problems with sleep scheduling my newborn. When I came to the rough patch at 6 weeks, though, you truly saved me.

    I recommend your blog to anyone who will listen. πŸ™‚

  14. Hey, Alexis!

    Thank you so much for all that you do on this website! My daughter is 6 months old and sleeping in the crib WITHOUT a pacifier (!) and only waking 1x a night because of your help. I plan on buying your book as soon as it’s out to show my support for your work. I also plan on giving your book as a gift at future baby showers from now on. Any updates on a new release date?

  15. Cannot wait for the book Alexis! So exciting. One of my best friends is expecting twins – 100% ordering the book for her πŸ™‚

    We still struggle with sleep (loong night wakings, sigh) but things are much much better than they would be without you and this site. I’m sure you are close to done, but I would love to see something in the book on older kids (my son in 20 mo now) and night wakings, as well as what to do when you go on holiday, the sleep rules go out the window (ahem) and getting back on track is now WAY harder since baby is big and strong enough to stand in his crib and wail for longer than we can take it … We are getting there but it’s April and we are still suffering from a February vacation. Yarg. It was worth it. Really. But barely.

  16. Hi Alexis, is your book available yet? I searched amazon.ca and amazon.com and all I see is: precious little sleep: the autobiography of wayne sleep.

    • Sadly no, it’s not out yet. It is about ready to head into beta then off into copy editing and layout but sadly it’s got a few months more to go before it’s ready to share πŸ™

      • Thanks for the update!
        My cousin is about to have a baby and she’s afraid of the no-sleep deal that comes with newborns. I recommended she read HSHHC, your blog, and gave her the name of my sleep consultant (if things start getting really hairy!). And then I remembered you were writing a book and I was going to buy it for her…I will check in again in a few months for an update or…I am sure you will update us on facebook? My now 2.5 year old sleeps like a champ but I still love to learn about baby/toddler/child sleep and follow various sleep experts on facebook including yourself! Thanks for all that you do! You are fantastic!

  17. Alexis,
    Hello! You helped so much once I found you when I had my first (now 19 months old). Now I’m due with my second in November. When will the book be out? Is there a pre-order option? I’m nervous it won’t be out before the baby gets here and I’ll be once again reading the website blurry eyed at 11pm, 1am, 3am, and 5am, not remembering a single thing. The book will be soooo helpful!
    Best,
    Karen

    • Karen,
      I am doing my LEVEL BEST to get it out by Christmas (or soon after). So, just about the time you are climbing out of whatever it is that you call that newborn phase where you just sorta get through the day, the book will be there for you πŸ™‚

      PS. If you want to know when it’s ready for pre-order, sign up for my email list (and also it makes me feel good when people sign up so that’s a nice side bonus for me πŸ˜‰

      Cheers!

  18. Hi Alexis,
    I appreciate all your great information. It has been very useful. I am the proud Mama to a 10 month old. She was great at sleeping at night …put her down around 7pm awake and she would sleep until 6/6:30am. We still put her down around 7pm and she will get herself to sleep. Most of the time she cries for 5-10mins. Around 8 months she started getting ear infections and with teething she is waking up. Since she is not eating a lot during the day she wants to nurse/bottle at night. Also at daycare she will only take 30 mins naps. Some days she will only sleep 15mins. She is a happy baby, goes right back to being busy with toys but then we get her home and she is ready to go to bed at 6pm. So I would love to order your book to get more information on how to get her back on track sleeping at night and how to get her to take better naps at daycare. Please let me know where I can order your book. Thank you!!

  19. Hi Alexis!

    I just wanted to say thanks so much for this wonderful blog! It has been such a huge help to me with my (very difficult) baby’s sleep, and I recommend it to other mothers all the time.

    Any updates on the publication date for the sleep book? Can’t wait to read that as well! πŸ™‚

    Christina

  20. Hi! Is there a more recent update on your book that I am missing? I have followed your website for 3 years now, as my oldest is turning 3 next week. It has been a wonderful source of information and I give it to every new mom that I know!! Would love to read and support your book. Thank you so much.

    • I would love FOR you to love and read my book πŸ™‚ You prompted me to post an update since I’m woefully behind. The manuscript is in beta – I’m collating feedback and prepping it to go into line editing. After that there’s a few more rounds (proofreading, interior design and layout, etc.) but I’m cautiously optimistic about a June 2016 publishing date. Truthfully “summer 2016” is a safer deadline but I’m going to think positively!

  21. I have used your website for so many questions I’ve had the last few weeks! My 4th baby is 4 months old and I feel like it’s all new with each child. Every child is different and I forget the exact time I did certain things for each child and their milestones (i.e. sleep). Thank you for all you’ve put together on this site. Your book will be the best baby shower gift for new parents – shoot, even for parents with more than one kid like me. Thank you!

  22. Hello Alexis,
    My son is 6.5 months old and we have been following your sleeping tips. I can successfully report he’s been sleeping all through the night and waking up a happy baby since we found your website. Can you tell me where I can purchase your book? I think this would be a great bay shower gift! Thank you thank you!

    • Looks like somebody needs to update her book page – DOH! The book will be available late summer 2016 so sadly is not available for purchase at this moment. If you want to stay in the loop the best way is to subscribe to my newsletter.

      And thanks for your kind feedback πŸ™‚

      • Hi Alexis,
        I was hoping you could share some light. My 6.5 month old has the night schedule down perfect. It’s the naps during the day he just wants to fight. We try to stick with the same night routine for day minus the bath. Do you think he gets confused that it’s daytime naps and not night night?

  23. HELP! I have a 6.5 month old boy who has always slept like a champ! He started sleeping through the night for 10-11 hours at a time around 3 months but started night waking around 4.5 months but would always go back with his pacifier no problem. He even started to figure out how to find his pacifier in the crib, put it back in his mouth and fall back asleep. For the last two weeks, he wakes and will not go back unless I rock him, hold him or even give him a bit of a bottle. So I’ve identified the problem as “i need to stop rocking and feeding to sleep” but my problem is I have no idea where to begin!! We have started co-sleeping which we have done before time to time and he will fall asleep on his own and stay there (either in my bed or on the couch). BUT I really don’t want him in my bed forever. I love him more than anything but when he goes to bed, I get my much needed alone time. I’m considering maybe teaching him to fall asleep on his own in my bed then tackling the slow transition to the crib from there. but i’m afraid this may make things much more difficult. Help help help!!

    • PS Alexis, your work is AMAZING! I have so much respect for you! Your site is the only one I have come across that gives me NO B/S in trying to figure this all out. You do a great job πŸ™‚

  24. Hi! Can’t wait to purchase the book– is it still set for this month??

  25. Dear Alexis,

    I’ve followed your advises and everything works more than perfect now. I’ve read alot about CIO but your website is best of best. I’m done with my first now and planning on the second baby. I really look forward to your book and hope it will be available soon… Its Oct 2016 now… I read above comments and see it would have been releashed last year! Please tell me it’s not gonna be 2018 or else because I love your book.

  26. Another update, please!

  27. Can I just say that I’ve read pretty much every page on your blog (minus the toddler stuff that I’ll reach when my monster gets to that stage), and your advice has helped our family IMMENSELY? This blog, along with the Facebook Group, have been my saving grace. Literally, when I’ve cried and wanted to quit, this community has helped me see the light at the end of my sleepless tunnel. I know you mentioned late summer release, so I hope I didn’t miss it?! I can’t wait to read your book! If it’s still in the editing stage, please please ask the book gods to hurry up and edit so we can buy it already! πŸ™‚

    • It is in interior layout and (soon) indexing. This is good news because for YEARS I have been the bottleneck. Now it’s in the hands of capable professionals who are working hard to get it done soon-ish. Not quite ready to commit a pre-order date but definitely “this winter!”

  28. Hey Alexis!
    I wanted to let you know that I’m another of your groupies. When my now 3 yo boy was a newborn, I scoured the internet in a desperate, bleary, middle of the night search for anything that might help us figure out how to help him sleep. We were doing everything wrong: flat giant crib, unswaddled, no pacifier, complete quiet. (Bless our sweet, clueless hearts.)
    Anywho, thanks for giving us some life-saving sleep solutions in a way that didn’t make us feel like a complete morons. Our new baby girl is a champion night sleeper. (Sleeping through the night at not quite 3 months! What?!) But is a chronic 30 minute napper. I’m counting down the days until she’s in CIO-ish territory. And I’m currently trying your “gently almost waking her before waking at 20 minutes” advice. So far, no dice. But we’ll figure it out.

    It sounds ridiculous but it’s true. Sleep is one of the best gifts you can give your child and yourself. (Not to mention, your spouse.)
    Can’t wait to read the book!!!

    Your devoted fan,
    Bekah πŸ˜‰

  29. HI Alexis,

    I was due 8 days ago with my second and have a 22 month old. Any update on the books availability? The 22 month old is having crap-naps and only wants me, never my husband, and we’re about to add a sibling, which is going to be a transition for all of us. I read through everything I could find on the website about toddler sleep patterns, but there wasn’t much. He’s up between 630am and 7am, usually napped 1245 to 330am (it’s recently been 1pm to 215pm) and bed at 730pm. He falls asleep independently. Any changes we should make to his routine, or are the crap-naps just a faze?

    Thank you

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