By 6-8 months your baby is fully ready and capable to be completely done with eating at night. Dr. Sears suggests that some parents really enjoy feeding their babies at night and will happily continue offering night feeding sessions until the child stops waking up on their own. If you are one of these mythical “I love waking up in the middle of the night” parents, best of luck to you. Personally I don’t know any people like this. And I think they’re really rare. Like unicorn rare.
But my point is that by this time your baby no longer needs to consume lots of food at night and is fully capable of getting all their calories in during daylight hours. And while a few babies will organically drop all their night feedings without any assistance from you, the vast majority of babies will continue to wake up routinely for a nursing session or bottle for years. So you can live with night feedings for the next 3 years, or you can take some simple and effective steps to gently wean your baby off their night feeding habit.
Start by choosing the feeding that is the least fun for you (typically this is the “dear God why are you awake it’s freeking 2:00 AM” feeding). Use the relevant process outlined below to completely wean off one feeding. Repeat.
Night Weaning for Breastfed Babies
- Gradually reduce the amount of time baby gets on the breast by 1 minute every 1-2 days. For example if your baby nurses 10 minutes a side (for a total of 20 minutes), start popping him off at 9 minutes, 8 minutes, etc.
- By the time your baby is only nursing for 2-3 minutes he may stop waking up all on his own. WHOOPIEE!
- If your baby STILL wants to nurse then you have a few options on how to handle it:
- A) Send daddy in for 1 minute of low-key soothing. Daddies are miraculously good at this. Also? They don’t smell like food. Babies are much more adaptive at getting the “no more food for you buddy” message from Dads.
- B) Let him complain. This should NOT be a nightmare CIO scene. Most babies who have been gently decreasing their milk consumption are now USED to not eating at this time. Left to their own devices they typically complain for 5-10 minutes and then fall back to sleep.
- When you are done feeding your baby at X time of night you are DONE. Don’t let teething/colds/travel get you back on the night feeding menu. If this happens you need to start over again. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.
Night Weaning for Bottle-fed Babies
- Offer 2 oz less of formula. So instead of an 8 oz bottle, offer a 6 oz bottle. Then a 4 oz bottle. Etc.
- -OR- Dilute the formula by reducing the amount of formula in the bottle by 1 scoop but leave the amount of water the same. So instead of 8 oz of water with 4 scoops of formula you would offer 8 oz of water with 3 scoops of formula.
- Continue decreasing the dilution of the formula until the bottle is 100% water. (Or continue offering less formula in the bottle – 6 oz, 4 oz, 2 oz). After 1-2 days of “only water” bottles, no more bottles.
- At this point your baby will probably stop waking up for this feeding all on their own. If not read the tips above (for breastfed babies) on how to proceed.
- When you are done with a given feeding you are DONE. No more bottles at that time of night. The kitchen is closed.
I’ve done this with many families over the years and it works shockingly well. Don’t believe me? Try it. Then come back next week and share your success story in the comment section!
There are a few small caveats to night weaning that I want to share….
The Dreaded Early Morning Feeding
Why?
Because babies often respond to giving up the 5:00 AM feeding by deciding instead to start the day. I think the problem is that a) it’s close enough to their normal wakeup time b) they’re used to waking up at that time already and c) they’ve gotten enough sleep that basic exhaustion won’t just whisk them back to dreamland.
I have no magic solution to this dilemma. Try weaning off the early morning feeding and see what happens. Your baby may continue to sleep happily until their normal wakeup time. Your baby may figure out how to fall back asleep at 5:00 am with a little gentle soothing encouragement from you or your partner. Or your baby may flatly refuse to go back to sleep without being fed.
If the latter then you can decide if you want to simply concede defeat and continue with the 5:00 AM feeding rather than wake up in the early dark of the morning. Personally I think an extra hour or two of sleep is worth dealing with the 5:00 AM feeding. If you’re nursing I would strongly encourage you to give your baby a bottle instead at this hour so you and your partner can take turns.
Night Weaning Isn’t Working
What worked/didn’t work for you? Leave a comment below!
{photo credit: DonkeyHotey and Stephen Heron}
Thank you for these articles! We are well on our way to getting our 9 month old to sleep through the night. We had used CIO and it worked wonders when he was 6 months. We somehow reverted back to bad habits and we are back to square one. The only difference is that when we leave the room now, he sits or stands in his crib and wont lay himself back down. Any tips on how to deal with this?
Our daughter did the same thing in the crib. She would stand up and cry and cry. I know it’s a no-no but what helped her was discovering how much she liked to sleep on her belly. Luckily she was close enough to a year old I tried not to stress too much about it. When I was doing research I also read to just keep laying them down until they get the point. Going in the room made the crying so much worse for us but all babies are different I guess.
We are going thru the same thing, please let me inow if you were able to resolve this
My first did this. I had a monitor you can talk into. I would say, “its time to go to sleep, lay back down” She should look at the camera and lay down. Every single time haha
Same for me!
I am loving this website, just a pity I discovered it far too late!
My 11-month old little monkey now walks everywhere during day time and whenever she finds herself in her crib, awake, she just stands up – and when she gets no answer she also starts jumping, besides crying. The more she jumps, the more awake she gets.
She does not seem to be afraid of the dark or of being alone in her room, as when she wakes up in the morning she is totally fine in her crib, laying, talking or singing to herself while waiting for some adult to turn up. But at bed time this whole pleasant feeling seems to disappear (or never have been there) in favour of some climbing and jumping. At times it happens that during night time she stands up while still asleep, just before waking up… How will I ever be able to let her fall asleep on her own, if standing is for her a reflex?
My 7 month old who came out sleeping is now not sleeping at nights! She is waking up like every 3 hours to nurse! I have let her cry for like 15 min once and there was no backing down on her part! I was tempted to have my husband give her a bottle at nights since who wants to waste their time with waking up for that not the breast! Haha help me!!!
I am in the same exact boat, however my now 7 month old has been waking up anywhere from ever 45 minutes to every three hours since around month 4. I do cosleeping and have just about lost my mind to sleep deprivation. I think I may have to start trying these methods.
Phoebe, I am in the EXACT same boat. 7.5 months old and co-sleeping, the midnight snacks were becoming so convenient that last week she was getting up up to NINE times a night! So finally I got fed up, put her in her crib, followed sorta a combination of this and a couple other methods that worked for us (I couldn’t let her cry more than 20 minutes, but the Ferber method of going in every 5 was only making her more upset), and she’s only been getting up to eat once a night since the first night! Even though I wanted her in my bed with me forever (for now haha), I am SO happy I got through that first night of hell and sorta even wish I had started this earlier. Now I just need her to sleep past 6 am (anyone have tips? lol)
Good luck!
What time are you putting her to bed? A too late bed time can make a baby wake early. You might try increments of 15 minutes earlier and see it that works!
Katie, my daughter is 8 months and I need help! What combination worked for you??
This is my son. Waking every 2 hours like clock work. He is put down awake for his days sleeps & bed time & goes off without protest.
But then every 2 wakes & I have to resettle with a quick feed or rocking.
Any help would be appreciated
Hi Rhiannon, this sounds exactly like my son – and he turns one in 2 weeks :'( I’m losing my mind. Have you received any helpful tips??
Hi ladies have you received any tips my 11 1/2 month son is doing this exact same thing
Hi I’m just reading your comment and being n exactly the same boat just now with my seven month old I’m wondering if anything worked for you. I’m struggling…..
Yes we are in the same boat as well! Right around 6.5 months she started this. Would love to know how it changed.
Hi there! Thanks for the awesome article. I’m making every mistake!!
I always bottle feed and rock my baby to sleep every night with the lights off and his musical light up mobile on.
He’s 9 month old and has been waking up once a night between 1 &3:30 most nights for the passed 2 months (months 2-7 he slept all night).
Up until reading this last night; when he woke, I would change his diaper while in the crib then give him a 6oz bottle and rock him back to sleep and gently lay him back in the crib. I’m constantly turning on his lighted/musical/rotating mobile (it even has a wireless remote to turn it back on outside his room) I also put him to sleep wih a pacifier. So I can completely see how everything I do ends up “vanishing ” on him when he wakes which is causing him to have trouble falling back to sleep. The good thing is, he doesn’t cry, like ever. He just babbles his words and yells as if trying to get our attention. He does eventually give up and fall asleep after various amounts of time(up to 35m). He can’t roll over, crawl or stand up yet so that’s good I don’t have to worry about him turning onto his stomach or standing in the crib in the middle of the night while working on nailing this “sleep through the night” goal.
So my plan will be for him to have his last bottle at 6:45pm, lights still on, brush his teeth and gums, read a book in the rocking chair, then lay him down when the lights on and his mobile on while I go wash his bottle, then turn his light off and let him babble away until he falls asleep, which he usually does. The pacifier may be hard to stop, I may go a few nights wth this new plan and if he falls asleep well, I’ll cut out the nighttime pacifier ASAP.
Please! Comments and opinions are appreciated thank you!!!!
Ok so if baby activly nurses for 5 mins and comfort sucks for 5 mins (total 10 mins). We start shaving of a min every few days right. what do we do when baby starts hyperventilating screaming once popped off?
I face the same issue with my 13 month old!!! Did you find something that helped?
This was the point at which I started introducing some water. When I’d gotten down to like a 1-minute feed, she was NOT letting go of it. Well, I gave her some water, and that did the trick. That was what finished night time feeds for me — giving her some water when she’d wake at night. And of course, she’s now waking at 6 each morning, which is way early for her, so that’s the one “nighttime feed” that we’re gonna keep for the near future.
We have tried this too and he refuses the water. He has never taken milk from a bottle or cup so I think that might be part of his issue though he drinks water fine during the day
DD has never been the best sleeper, and truthfully has always been gassy from day one. She was EBF until she wasn’t gaining weight and then supplamentef with formula. In the past month she’s woken up incredibly uncomfortable and will only sleep when being held! I hate to try to sleep train right now because I feel like she’s in pain. She has had a few miracle nights where she went down drowsy and went to sleep on her own and where she only woke up once and where she nursed and went back down without problems and slept until her typical wake up time. But mostly we are holding her all night, trying to put her in her crib only to have to wake up minutes later upset! Any advice?!
How old is DD? My daughter had terribly painful gas. I would wake to her struggling for relief in her bassinet. However, she outgrew it as her digestive system developed. Here are some things that did help: making sure she burped after after nursing/bottle feed, even if she fell asleep – that gas needs to come out! and massage and leg bicycles helped moved trapped gas.
Question. Once our son wakes up for his first night feeding (and all following feedings) should we put him back down in the crib or bring him in bed with us like we use to do until he masters the initial falling asleep in the crib?
Our little 8 month old dude goes to bed every night on his own (not bragging) with no fussing, BUT then he’s awake for 2-3 night feedings. I’m mostly done breastfeeding and do one bottle feeding and the other as breastfeeding (usually 4am..the death hour) but seriously have no clue if the guy is getting anything. He still suckles and is happy even if I put him down a little awake. Going to try the slow decrease in minutes and formula and see what happens! Oh… and gonna sub dad in way more than I normally/ever do. I’m just already awake and awaken faster than dad does so it seems easier to just do it myself… until the next day rolls around and I’m a grinch. Fingers crossed this works!
I am in the same position! Did night weaning this way work for you? Dad works early and long hours, so I probably won’t sub him in…
This is how I justified always getting up with baby- dad works early and long hours. Until someone said “Ya but you’re the one keeping your child safe all day. You’re the one driving the car to their appointments. You have as much of a right to be rested, and more so than your husband.” So if that means they suck it up and take a feeding, so be it. It was honestly the only way my daughter was going to wean: if I wasn’t the one in her room.
Britney how do you manage to get him to sleep so easily?
My baby does the same thing, she can can falla asleep in her own when put in crib at bedtime but wakes duringhe night and only wants to be nursed back to sleep. I’m going to try to slowly wean her off feedings at night and see if that helps.
We are in the same situation. She goes to bed at 7 awake no issues in her own room. But wakes up at 1:30ish to eat- and goes back to sleep. That one I can handle but then shes up again at 4:30 and falls back asleep. We have to get up for work/daycare at 6:30 so that 4:30 one is TOUGH! I should just go to the gym but thats a whole different issue. Did you drop the early morning feeding last as the article says to do?
Same for my son! He’s 9 months and most nights (with an exception here and there mostly because of teething or other issues) I can put him in his crib and he will fall asleep on his own. However the only way he will lay there long enough to fall asleep is if I have the tv on with the baby Einstein videos with the music and shapes and colors and what not. I know this probably isn’t “recommended” but it’s the only thing that works so I’m using it!!!
However he’s ALWAYS been a horrible sleeper. He never used to fall asleep on his own before I discovered the baby Einstein videos that he loves, but even before I used to tv to get him to fall asleep he always was a terrible sleeper so I don’t know if that has an affect like one of the earlier articles says…
But anyway, he goes in his crib at 8 and is asleep by 830 usually. ( I also discovered that the only way he will fall asleep on his own is if I give him a bath at night, and then I feed him bananas or oatmeal or something. If I skip the bath or snack he is a MONSTER at bed time)
Now after falling asleep successfully, he is up every hour and half-2 hours all night long. He screams bloody murder until I finally give him a bottle. I try everything else first and bottle is always the last resort but it’s always the only thing he wants. My ped said that night feeding at this age are a learned behavior and not actually necessary. They are just used to them and it’s become a habit at this point. He suggested warm water instead of formula so I’ve tried this again and again and it only serves to upset my son even more and he winds up throwing the bottle at me.
Some nights he will drink 6-7 bottles.
He also will never drink more than 4 ounces at a time. Day or night, no matter how many ounces I put in the bottle. Without fail, when I make a 6 ounce bottle there is always exactly 2 ounces left.
His wake ups are not consistent so it’s hard to choose which to start with. Do I just start with the first one and go in order from then on? And since he wakes up so much, should I start this process with more than one of the feedings?
Hey not sure if this is an old post my son is a monster as well I have a little advice regarding the 4oz feedings my son was the exact same way, I couldn’t get him to drink more than 4oz! Drove me crazy because he’s a big boy so it was like 4oz every 2 hr all day! What broke him finally was upping the nipple size from a 1-3 and boom now he chugs a 6oz in like 5 min the first day was tricky getting used to the flow change but it worked like magic after! No idea how to make these kids sleep tho haha hope this helps
Hello! We are looking to night wean our 10.5 month old soon. I’ve been exclusively pumping since biting became a huge issue 2 months ago, so he gets bottled breast milk. Will the method of diluting his night bottle with water work for breast milk, or is that strategy only meant for formula?
Hi, is an almost 5 month old too young to try night weaning from one feed as per suggestions above?
My son is waking 3 times a night still – 10.30pm, 1.30-2am & between 4-5am and I feed him back to sleep each time as he seems hungry! I’d love to drop the 1.30am feed and just feed him during the two other wake ups.
Thanks for your advice!
Have you started introducing solids yet? My son was the same, and we realized it was because he really was hungry. Since then he wakes only once a night now. Which we are currently working on. Good luck! I know the exhaustion!
Thanks for the reply Andrea, no we hadn’t thought of that but it probably makes sense as their tummy’s expand and they are growing/developing so much during this time!
What did you introduce and when at this early stage? Much controversy around introducing solids too early but may ask GP or Paed if this could be a good option.. it’s so tiring!!!
Thanks 🙂
The other thing is that our bodies get hungry at the time we’re used to eating. Babies bodies are the same. If baby’s been eating at several times during the night, baby’s body is used to getting food at those times and will therefore truly be hungry at these times. This is why you decrease feeds gradually, decreasing the body’s need for food at those times. Dropping one of three feeds during the night for an almost 5 months old is fine according to everything I’ve read (here’s one). https://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/night-feedings-by-age-when-do-you-night-wean/
“The dreaded early morning feed” – this is us. My 5 month old goes all night in his own room without being fed until 5 am. Sometimes he will wake up and we rock him back to sleep, other times he sleeps through. When he wakes up around 5, I bring him in our bed and nurse him and he falls back to sleep for another two hours. We’re having a really hard time teaching him to fall asleep on his own, so the controlled crying method is in our not-so-distant future. Should we focus on doing the sleep training for bedtime, but continue the 5 am feed in our bed until he eventually drops the feed? Or should we switch to a bottle, feed him when he wakes up and then put him back in the crib to let him fall back asleep on his own?
Hi! as long as he’s sleep trained at bedtime, you can do what you prefer for the 5am feed. For me, personally, I preferred giving a bottle for the early morning 5am feed and having him go back to sleep in his crib. I preferred it because figured a bottle would be easier to wean off of later in the future instead of trying to wean off both nursing and cosleeping at that time. maybe you could nurse and put him back into crib?
I have a newly one year old baby boy who still insists on one night feeding between 3-5am- he’s a chunky baby and i know he does not ‘need’ it. He is sleep trained in that he puts himself to sleep for naps and bedtime. CIO doesn’t seem to work- I am totally okay with that method but he just doesn’t seem to ever go back to sleep. So i know it is basically a habit we have to break but since he is breastfeeding and my husband cannot help at night…It is hard for me to NOT feed him when i go in at night. I am really ready to be done with this nighttime feeding.
Ditto to everything you said!! Just curious if this has been resolved for you? My baby is 14 months and we are in an almost identical situation. He usually wakes somewhere between 3:30 and 5:30 for a morning feed and then will sleep for another 3 hours. Up until this point, I have been fine with feeding him in exchange for the 3 hours more of sleep, but I feel like he is old enough to be sleeping all on his own and I would love to be able to actually sleep through the night! Plus I am planning on weaning him off nursing in the coming months and would want to have him night weaned before that?
Did you ever end up night weaning? My 16 month old has the same habits as your little one and I’m strongly considering weaning…my fear is that instead of sleeping 11-11.5 hours overnight, he’ll wake up super early bc he’s hungry. I’d rather keep nursing and get the extra sleep on the back end!
I have a 11 month old baby, that would sleep all night long in his crib between 3-6 months. Now he’s refusing his crib and wants to sleep with us in the bed. If we try to but him in his crib while he’s asleep he wakes up and wraps his arms quickly around my neck. We’ve tried sleep training him but the whole “put him down while he’s drowsy but awake” doesn’t work out because he quickly just starts crying. And doesn’t calm down. Also he either just sits right up or stands and cries and it seems like he doesn’t know how to lay down. We let him cry it out one night hoping that he would just fall asleep, but he legit cried from 9pm-5am. And at one point he did stop crying for 2 hours. When I went in to check up on him he was sleeping while sitting down and when his body gave up and tipped over he woke up and continued crying. I don’t know what to do anymore. Anyone have a stubborn baby like me.
Similar situation. Did you find an answer?
DD is 9.5 months old. I have been trying to ST her for almost 3 weeks now. Staying in the room didn’t work. Fading didn’t work. No we are at Leave & Check close to executing extinction as check timing I’ve stretched it to every 15-20 minutes.
The thing is she is really overtired but she tends to sit and sleep. Seems to be waiting for my return. I have to repeatedly lie her down from my 15-20 check visit. The moment I step out of the room, she will stand up in her crib and cry for 5 minutes before sitting down and going into the sit and sleep mode. It’s been 4 days since she has been sitting and sleeping. It took between 40 minutes to 2 hours to finally lay her down for her sleep. Nap usually last only 30-60 minutes while BT usually last 1.5 hours after lying down before the whole cycle repeats then she will got for 2-3 hours of sleep then a night wake with a “feed cry” and go for another 3 hours of sleep then another disturb sleep then an hour or two of sleep to her official dawn wake up.
I know that she is way overtired and has sleep debts piled.
Any advice on how to solve her sit and sleep issue? CIO doesnt seem to work because she will just sit and sleep to wait.
please let me know if you get any answer. my son just turned 9 months and trying to sleep train him is a nightmare.
Thank you for all of these tips! We avoided CIO because we were in this cycle of cold, teething but our 9 month old has a gap of no teeth so we are going to take full advantage. He can go to bed asleep and self-soothe some of the time, but now wakes up around 9pm and 4/5am. Hoping CIO eliminates the 9pm wake up. We are crossing our fingers!
One question, our LO tends to wake up by not cry. He just sits or stands in his crib and talks to himself. With CIO do we just leave him there to fall asleep by himself? Or should we go in and help?
Hi, my daughter use to sleep 7pm till 5am no wakes from 10W to 5.5 months old. I usually (80%) of the time fall asleep drowny but awake. (Sometime she just falls asleep too quick on the boob I just lay her asleep in thencrib)
She now wakes 1-2 times a night What is your intake on waking her for a dream feed before I go to bed? (Usually 10:30-11pm) she stays asleep. This removes 1 feed and she now only wakes around 3:30-4am for a feed and back down till 7-8am. Sometimes 1-2 a night I hear her wake but after a couple minutes she falls back asleep except that 1 night feed she really wants to nurse.
Having the hardest time night weaning! 9 months. She’s up every 3-4 hours at night. I’ve tried cutting her feeds (bf) down but then she just wakes up hungry an hour later!!! Arg!!! Help!!
Emily
I am wanting to deluting my son’s bottle at night to help stop night feedings. At what rate do I do this? how long would I use 3 scoops of formula then 2 scoops etc?
On formula containers it says to make as suggested or it could cause health issues. I would take to your child’s doctor before trying this, just to be on the safe side.
Oh this website has saved me SO many times! I have my first baby who hasn’t night weaned on his own despite being ferbered two months ago. He is 6 months and tonight I’m going to attempt night weaning by reducing the oz in his bottle from 6 to 4 as you suggest. Do I reduce to 2 oz tomorrow or do I keep it at 4 oz for a few days and then reduce to 2 oz? Thanks again for always saving me!
Hi guys,
Am definitely going to try the night weaning as suggested. My 11 month old goes down at 8 and wakes for a bottle feed approx 2am but has started getting up for the day at 5am. Up until last week I was giving breast feed at 5am to try re settle some times he did more often he was ready for up anyway. I’ve now stopped breastfeeding but am struggling with sleep as i can rarely get to bed until a couple of hours after him. Would you suggest I night wean off the bottle but add back in a bottle at 5am?? If I don’t ‘re introduce a bottle at 5am wake up it would leave that he gets a 6oz bottle approx 1pm and a 6oz bottle at bedtime. This doesn’t seem enough to me. Any help/suggestions appreciated.
12oz a day is too less for a 11 months old, he should get 24 oz a day so try to increase his milk intake in the day time so he wont wake up at night time.
My daughter is almost 10 months. Usually falls asleep at night after nursing or a bottle, sometimes cio for a bit. Two times a night I nurse her briefly then put her in crib awake but drowsy. She cries anywhere from 15 to 60+ minutes. Do I need to change something to help this? Still takes better naps if she swings (though good naps are maybe an hour). In her crib, naps are 15-20 minutes, with an occasional longer one. Advice?
let me know if you get any answers. my son is 9 months old yesterday and sleep training or trying to get him to go to sleep in general is a complete nightmare.
We did Babywise with both our kiddos and they slept through the night at 6 weeks and 2 months. They were adopted and formula fed. We thought we had it all figured out. Our last child is breastfed. He is 3 months old and still wakes up every 2 to 3 hours at night! We ALWAYS put him down drowsy, but awake. We don’t rock him to sleep or nurse him to sleep, ever. He is on a feeding schedule during the day, but it’s an every 2 hour schedule. I haven’t been able to stretch him to 3 hours. We do eat, play, sleep during the day. I truly am at a loss as to what to do at this point to get more sleep at night!
My 8 month old is having serious sleep issues. I NEVER coslept with my first kid but since day one with this girl she would not sleep unless on me or next to me. For the past two months Ive been putting her down around 8:30 after feeding and bath and she wakes at 10:30-11ish on the dot screaming her head off and then every two hours on the dot until 7am when she’s ready for the day and Im basically unable to function for lack of sleep knowing i also have to watch a toddler. Ive tried CIO and she will scream for an hour or more hysterically. If I go in after 15-20 minutes I only reposition her and lightly pat on the back under she clams herself which isn’t often. The she’s up 15-20 minutes later hysterically screaming again. Im at my witts end and a partner who refuses to help at night because he works early in the morning all day. Not sure how much longer I can do this. I need advice!!
please, please, let me know if you get any answers, i am in the same situation. though my 9 month old wakes up 4-5 times per night and usually is up 1-3 hours from 3am-5am
I’ve got her down to waking only once during the night now. What we did was start putting her to bed At 7:30. I’d dim the lights, nurse her for like 5 minutes and while she’s still awake I’d wrap her and place her in the crib. Anytime she would wake I would wait 10 minutes before going in. If I had to I would turn her on her side, Pat the bottom of her back and shush for a make of two minutes and then leave. I had to do this for a week but now she sleeps from 7:30- 1 or 2am wakes and cries for a few and then falls back asleep until 4:30. Then I feed her five min and she sleeps again until 7. I hope this helps you! I copied this from friends sleep expert she hired for her boy lol!
hi, i’m confused. on where to start. and a few specific issues i have. my son is 9 months old.
1. the only option i have is CIO (even though he’ll scream at the top of his lungs for hours which also ends up impeding in my sleep). Do i begin this method of CIO THEN wean him off of nightly feedings?
2. i feel like having him CIO before weaning him off nightly feedings is going to result in even more lost sleep for myself. everytime he wakes up in the night right now (which is usually 4-5 times a night; 1 lasting a couple hours even), he wants to be cuddled and rocked. feeding him will quiet him but won’t put him back to sleep. Am i supposed to let him CIO when i first lay him down, then every time he wakes up to eat feed him and let him CIO for another 30-60min, and again, and again??? that sounds like i’ll get absolutely NO sleep at all and sounds like i’m torturing him!
3. when Kyrie gets fussy, he’ll stand up in his crib and cry, since he’s exhausted, he’ll fall down in his crib and hit his head on the hard wood. when using the CIO method, am i supposed to just let him fall down in his crib 3-4 times every night and smack his head….? i’m sure this isn’t good for him.
his sleep has seemed to have gotten much worse in the past couple months.
i’ve been co-sleeping from pretty much day 1 because he wouldn’t go to sleep any other way, and i was exhausted. as i am now. simply co-sleeping with him is not doing the trick anymore.
i’m so stressed thinking about trying this that i’m legitimately crying.
if anyone has answers to a super fussy, attached baby… PLEASE HELP!!
I would start with CIO at bedtime. Then, choose one or two times per night you are willing to feed – maybe after midnight and then after 4 am and if he wakes up before then, do CIO. And then gently wean both of those feeds. This worked for my older son although dropping the midnight feed after we got it down to 2 oz of pumped milk resulted in two hours of screaming. It actually didn’t work for my second son – he didn’t understand that I would only feed him once per night and would just wake all night, sometimes for hours. I once put him to bed as 6 and he woke at 7:45 and wouldn’t fall back asleep without nursing. So at 8 months I stopped feeding him at night (it worked initially but then he got really sick and we backslid and I started training again last night) But I think having a feeding cutoff generally works for most babies. For the first few days of sleep training often everyone gets much less sleep. Give it ten days before you decide it isn’t working. It may get worse before it gets better.
So in my experience dropping a middle of the night feed IS a nightmare CIO experience. I gently weaned both my sons by reducing the minutes and the older one even slept through the feed a few times but when I finally let it go for good, he screamed for two hours (and never woke again at that time, so there’s that). My younger son slept through one time after getting to 4 minutes and then was up on and off crying lightly for three hours the next night when I dropped it. CIO in the beginning of the night was a breeze for both. Maybe I’m an outlier but dropping feeds has been soooo challenging for me. To the point that I absolutely cannnot imagine having a second child.
My little one is almost 8 months. At bedtime he goes to sleep on his own. No dummy, white noise plays continously all night. He still tends to wake several times each night crying out. We only feed him once and have reduced this to 4oz. The other times he can be resettled by patting or using a dummy. I don’t really know what else to do. I thought the fact that he fell asleep independently would mean he would sleep through. I have a toddler too. She was put to bed asleep until 10.5 months when we made her fall asleep in the cot. We did camping out. That was the key. She woke far fewer times immediately and was sleeping through in 3 days. What can I do with my son? Just ignore his cries? Thanks
My 1 year old falls asleep in his cot and is still rubbish at staying asleep at night, the only time he’s ever slept through is when he had piriton.
What am i doing wrong?
I can’t get this child off my boob day or night his hand is down my top every 10 minutes he’s awake.
The 4.30am wake is the worst he will chew on me for an hour or until I give up and take him downstairs. I think self settling is a myth, white noise doesn’t make any difference either.
I’m getting to point now where some days I just think he hates me.
Anyway i don’t expect any answers from this apart from buy my book
Definitely buy my book. There you go.
And no self settling is not a myth. It doesn’t mean it’s EASY to come by but not a myth. His behavior suggests he has a huuuuge boob=sleep association. He’s falling asleep in his cot but STILL associates sleep with your boobs. So the question is – WHY? Nursing too close to bedtime? Nursing till drowsy? Using a paci? Nursing too soon after bedtime? Too short wake time prior to bedtime? Look at what’s happening and try to think “what is happening AT or NEAR to bedtime that is reinforcing his worldview that I can only sleep with Moms boobs in my mouth” and start there. Good luck!
Hi Alexis,
I have been obsessively reading and re-reading your book, and have read every blog post you’ve written. I want to thank you for helping me understand baby sleep- and for making me laugh (through my tears). We successfully SWAP’ed our way out of rocking my healthy 4 and a half month old to sleep. However, I am still an owl eyed zombie because he wakes up RAVENOUS 3 times a night. I tried cutting out the 2am feeding by reducing his bottle from 4 oz by a half ounce every two nights, but once I got down to a 2.5 ounce bottle, he would wake up ravenous 1 hour later, and cry for more than 15 mins… so I would cave and feed him more. Finally here’s my question: Could he be too young/ have too immature a digestive system right now? On pg 146 you say night weaning is for babies older than 6 months, but on pg 158 you say 4-6 months. Can you tell I am down to one brain cell? What do you suggest? I am hoping and praying to the sleep fairies that you will respond.
Thank you!!!!
Hi! How old is your baby? What is your schedule/routine during the day? What is your bedtime routine?
Nah your 4 month old does not need to eat 12 oz at night. It sounds like there’s still a lingering sleep association somewhere so check the troubleshooting section on night weaning. Could be too short wake times, last bottle too close to bedtime, too drowsy AT bedtime, use of pacifier for sleep, or first bottle too early. Try knocking out the FIRST feed of the night first (almost always a better starting point) and see if that works better. Good luck!
I’m confused about which feed to drop. Here you say to drop the first feeding of the night, but in the book you say to drop the middle of the night feeding because it affects mom’s night more. Thanks!
My 3 year old isn’t sleeping through the night. We’ve tried cry it out but she’ll cry for hours. We’ve had mild succes with CIO in the past but she always goes back to waking several times in the night after being sick or a vacation. At this stage CIO isn’t working anymore. I’ve given up on her really. But I also have an almost 6 month old who seems to be turning out the same way. Both have reflux btw. Any tips on putting a baby with reflux down awake? I’m waking up every 1.5h to feed now. I co-sleep. It’s the middle of the night, she’s been fed and she’s been up for 2 hours. I need help and I cannot deal with this anymore. If she starts crying I hold her because she’ll need to burp or throw up so I can’t do CIO untill she’s no longer suffering from reflux.
My daughter is 8.5 months old and waking every 2 hours, if that. I know she needs to learn to fall asleep without me (suckling/nursing) but she shares a room with her big sister and i can’t have her screaming and waking up my other daughter. I’m going insane without sleep… do i need to teach her to fall asleep on her own FIRST and then wean off the night feedings? My brain is fuzzy, i need it spelled out. Thank you.
Hi! Yes, she needs to fall asleep on her own first before weaning off of feedings.
How old is your older daughter? My 13 month old and 3.5yr old have been sharing a room for about a month. We use white noise in the room. Surprisingly, our older son has been sleeping through the baby’s crying without any problems. So it may be easier than you think. Or you can consider having your older daughter sleep in another room for a few nights while you sleep train the baby. Good luck!
Hi. My 9.5 month old son goes to bed awake with little to no tears around 7to 730pm. He naps twice a day (I am just starting nap training – precious to this was napping in my arms for about 90 mins each). He wakes up every night around 1030 very upset and takes an hour to two hours to settle. Sometimes I nurse him but it doesn’t always help calm him. The first few nights of sleep training he was falling asleep closer to 8pm and then waking up at 2am (no 1030 wake up). I am perplexed about this 1030 wake up. His wake window before bed is about 3 hrs
Thanks!
Hi ladies (and maybe some gentlemen)!
I am on the site and looking for answers. Our little girl will be six months in just a few days (birth age). She was 3 weeks premature but was at a healthy enough birth weight to skip the NICU. Anyway, we are going on 6 weeks of her waking up multiple times a night, She usually goes to bed between 7-7:30. She usually naps 2x at daycare for an hour. She will wake up anywhere from every 45 minutes to every 2 hours. If we go in her room and give her the pacifier, it will satisfy her for a short period of time. Sometimes I pick her up and just hold her, and she completely passes back out. Put her down, two hours later, she’s back up. She goes down at bedtime awake – she usually kicks around/chatters to herself for 5-10 minutes and then falls asleep. Do we just have to cold turkey let her cry it out in the middle of the night? Two full-time working parents here at wits end!
Hi, just wondering if you recommend waiting for baby to cry in the night to breastfeed (ie 12 or 1am) or doing a dreamfeed proactively before they cry before midnight? My baby is 5 months and I generally just feed her once in the night when she cries but have read that I might be reinforcing night awakenings and should go to her when she is still asleep. Was kind of hoping she would eventually go longer in the night gradually in her own but it seems like the wakenings are happening earlier as I keep moving bedtime up (around 7/7:30). Also when do most babies on average drop the night feed (I know a big variation but am trying to gauge when I should be using CIO in the night vs bedtime)?
Thanks!
Thank you. For the first time in a while, we slept – like babies!
I have a 6 month old that is now falling asleep at bedtime relatively easily but still waking 3-4 times at night to nurse (e.g., 9:30pm, 1am, 4am). The book says that you should try not to offer a feeding before midnight and to wait at least 3 hours between feeds. I’m working on 3 hour intervals first. It also says that you only have two options when your baby wakes at night and it has not been 3 hours: 1) go to them within the first 10-15 min or 2) let them work it out. My daughter woke after 2 hours last night and proceeded to yell at me for over 1.5 hours at which time I nursed her and she eventually went back to sleep. What do you do when they cry so long that it has now been 3 hours and how long is too long to let them cry?
my 8 month-old has been sleeping through the night, 7pm-7am, since we moved him to his own room aright around 6.5 months! he nurses right before bed and then I put him down awake and he happily coos himself to sleep. about 30% of the time (like 2 or 3 days a week?) though, he wakes and asks for another feed between 9-10pm, but goes right back down and then sleeps straight through without waking again until 7am. it seems like he’s the opposite of most of the sleep advice around babies dropping the early morning feeds last… since this last feed isn’t every night and when it does happen it’s almost always before I go to bed, and it is typically 5 min or less I don’t really mind it at all. is it still worth doing the night weaning strategy? or is it possible that he’ll just naturally stop asking for this last feed on his own?
Hi, thank you for your article! My 10month old still wakes 2-3 times a night for full feeds. She is currently exclusively breastfed and when I tried to drop the time she fed at night it either resulted in more wake ups later in the night or not settling back to sleep afterwards. She has never fallen asleep on the boob and has self soothed for about 8 months perfectly. So I can only presume she is genuinely hungry? Should I consider weaning her onto formula so I know she’s having enough in the day? I fear she is a terrible snacker and tanking up at night. I know I am close to the age when she can have cows milk but I struggle to function on the disrupted sleep and can’t face returning to work without having gotten some energy back. Many thanks!
The gradual night weaning method did not work for my son. He ended up waking up more times compared to only once for a full feed. It became more disruptive for us. So, my husband and I decided to just stick to the single feed at night for him and will let him transit to be able to sleep through the night his own. He already falls asleep in his cot all by himself in his own room since about 9mo. Recently he slept through for 3 nights but it went back to one night feed on the 4th night. I think he is learning and we will just have to wait it out?
Hi all! What happens when the actual night feedings aren’t the issue? I’m 99.99% sure that my son is using my nipple as a pacifier… he doesn’t nurse for more than a couple of minutes so decreasing the feeding time isn’t gona help. Sometimes he just latches on to suckle for a few seconds then he’s asleep again (we cosleep). What would be the best way to end this in this type of situation? Thank you for your time!
Hi Alexis,
I have your book, which is fantastic, but have a question about Gradual Weaning for Cuddlers (p104-9) As you get your kid to sleep next to you in the bed, then 6 inches away, then a foot, etc, what are you supposed to do with them once they’re asleep? For safety’s sake I’m assuming I can’t leave them in the bed, of course. But is it ok to place them in the crib even though they fell asleep in the bed?
Many thank for clarifying!
We night weaned our 9 month old, and it was surprisingly easy. I have almost never nursed her to sleep. She accepted it without complaint, it was done in 1 night. It’s been a week, but she still wakes up roughly every hour. Some of it is teething bc when we give her Motrin she sleeps for 3 or 4 hours, but we can’t pump her full of motrin every night! Any advice? Night weaning happened, but didn’t change a thing, it’s like she didn’t even notice.
What do you do when she wakes up to help her fall back asleep? Her behavior (waking hourly) smells like a lingering sleep association. There’s something happening at bedtime that is locked in for her as “I need this thing to sleep” and THAT is what needs to change so she can navigate sleep cycles more successfully.
Hi Alexis! I understand that you mentioned that CIO is more effective for helping the child to fall asleep but not so when it comes to night weaning. If 11MO still feeds twice a night and I’m happy with that, I also understand that there is a link between the sleep association/object permanence that causes night wakings and short naps. My child is certainly having crap naps (20 mins at maximum and I tried the technique of going in 5-10 mins before as you suggested but she just jolts right awake and doesn’t go back to sleep). Could this therefore mean that I should consider weaning at night to help improve her naps? Thank you.
Hi Alexis! I understand you mentioned that CIO is more effective for helping the child to fall asleep but not so when it comes to night weaning. My 11MO still feeds twice a night and I’m happy with that and only do it between 11pm-1am and 4-6.30am. I also understand that there is a link between the sleep association/object permanence that causes night wakings and short naps from your crap naps article. My child is certainly having crap naps (20 mins at maximum and I tried the technique of going in 5-10 mins before as you suggested but she just jolts right awake and doesn’t go back to sleep). Could this therefore mean that I should consider weaning at night to help improve her naps? Thank you.
Sorry – just to add, she had a strong breastfeeding to sleep association prior to this but I have moved feeding to take place outside the bedroom so she is drowsy and when we go in to the room which is already dark, I hold her and pray with her, then put her down in the cot. She used to cry a lot more but we’ve been sleep training (chair method and then progressed into CIO) for the past 5/6 weeks and she’s now able to fall asleep within 5-10 minutes of crying. This is true for naps and bedtime but much less crying and quicker to fall asleep at bedtime. With the crying, that must mean that she is sufficiently awake when I put her into the cot? Would feeding still be a sleep prop? I somehow really fear moving it to an eat-play-sleep pattern since she’s so used to having a feed before sleeping.
Now that’s what I’m not sure about in terms of what needs to change to improve crap naps: move feeding before play, or night wean… What do you think? Both? Would you do both at the same time or one at a time?
Thank you!!
Oftentimes my 6 month old son wakes up a few times in the night with what appears to be gas. Then, when waking for is 4am or 5am feeding, usually ends up pooping, which requires us to get out of bed and turn on lights to change him (we co sleep still). I am trying to move this poop til the morning and eliminate gas so we can both get a better nights sleep. all of this activity often makes it so he wont go back down til after 6am. Do you have any suggestions? does the book address this? I just ordered. thanks!
My baby is 5.5mo. Can she drink a “water only” bottle? She’s still waking up in the middle of the night at least once in variable times. Will the dilute formula causes malnutrition? She’s already not taking enough care calories.
I would love tips for a single mom. I’m planning on trying to work on better naps, earlier bedtimes, and putting her down awake, but when night weaning, I don’t have a partner to send in, and she sleeps in my room for the foreseeable future.