Podcasting is great because we basically get to opine on whatever topic strikes our fancy. But we’ve committed to periodically do reader/listener Q&A episodes to ensure that we’re hitting topics that are also interesting to you. While we get more questions than we can possibly answer, we’ve culled some great ones here that I particularly love because they’re so relatable and, frankly, funny. Sometimes, when you’re in the thick of it, it can feel like everybody else has figured out all this stuff and you’re the only one silently struggling in the middle of the night. But I promise – you aren’t. There are thousands of people listening to this podcast who are exactly where you are, as perplexed as you are, and who will breathe a brief sigh of relief to hear your story and know that they aren’t alone.
In this episode Ashby and I answer questions that deal with some fairly ubiquitous challenges including:
- What to do when you want to stop co-sleeping with your older baby (:44)
- How to break out of a situation where baby will only sleep with an “insane amount of bouncing” (5:45)
- Why your toddler is suddenly fighting sleep at bedtime (11:33)
- Why your 6 month old demands to nurse 10x a night (18:23)
- What to do when you want to stop co-sleeping with your preschooler (23:15)
- How to night parent an independent sleeper without undoing the independent part (29:44)
- How to not get turned into a puddle when your partner is AWOL and sleep is a mess (34:55)
As mentioned in the episode many of these questions relate to a common core issue: sleep associations. Although the questions demonstrate how sleep association issues can manifest in vastly different ways, it is almost always the root issue. And often the answer is this.
Take a listen and let us know what you think! Got a question for a future Q&A episode? Fire away at [email protected].
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Thanks for this podcast! I totally related to the mom who was worried about ruining her independent sleeper when the LO is sick- I’ve also worried about that, but usually went with what I felt was right at the time- I would usually help and comfort him if he was really sick with a virus and was really not himself and I trusted/hoped that it would be temporary and that he would go back to his great sleeping habits, which he has always done so far, but it may have taken some time to go back to normal.
I had a question- when you have an 18month toddler on one nap, but has some mornings where he wakes up earlier (say 530am) versus a later (ideal) wakeup like 645/7am- do you still go by the clock and put him down at 12 for his nap? or would you recommend putting him down for a nap earlier but then run the risk of being awake too long before bedtime? Not sure how to handle that…thanks!
Hi Sam,
sorry no one answered over the past month, it’s been a busy time with Alexis getting her book launch ready.
Honestly I think that you can go either way — some of our admins are strictly by the clock for older babies, but i always adjusted based on the child’s behavior. I hope you found your answer in the meantime …..
Thanks for this and all your crackIng work! So…after many months of ‘we’ve cracked it’… ‘oh wait now, we haven’t..’ our 7 month old usually goes down without much fuss by herself and is pretty much sleeping from 7/7.30 until 5am feed then again til 7 – except for one mind-bendingly-excruciatingly annoying wakeup that started as an every-so-often thing but has become entrenched. Every night, religiously, around 3.15/3.30 she wakes and moans, sometimes screams, on and off for anything from 5 minutes up to an hour. Once she finally goes back down, I’m awake for another hour and then of course she’s up again for her early morning feed which she guzzles. At 3.30 it’s not hunger waking her as often my husband can soothe her with a pat and some shushing. I just about get her back to bed around 5/5.30 and but then his alarm goes from 6 until 6.30 to keep me up and she’s awake again at 7. I’m going CRAZY!!!! Any idea on what could be waking her and what we can possibly do? I feel like we’re SO close and yet so far!!
Hi! Just as my 13 month olds bottom molars pushed all the way through, her top two broke through.
She’d been sleeping through the night since 6 weeks old, about 12 hours straight in her crib until her bottom molars. We’d always been able to give her a bottle, lay her down awake, and she’d fall asleep. If/when she’d want during the night, she would play with a toy until she fell back asleep.
A weekend away coincided with the bottom molars and she had trouble in the hotel pack and play, standing up and screaming when we’d put her down, so we’d rock her to sleep. Then she’d stand up and scream in the middle of the night and not go back to sleep so came into bed with us the second and third night. The first we just didn’t sleep. We don’t and had never co-slept and will not do it at home.
Back at home, she will not go to bed like normal. If we lay her down, she immediately stands up and starts screaming, no matter how tired and drowsy she was when we layed her down. We’ve tried to let her CIO standing up, but she won’t stop. She does know how to get back to sitting and laying from standing. We’ve resorted to rocking her to sleep and having to make darn sure she’s sleeping before transferring her or she wakes up and the process starts all over.
I’ve also tried putting her in the crib standing and puttering around the room to see if she’ll sit or lay on her own, but she starts crying.
She will wake in the middle of the night and stand and scream. I will be up from 1-3 hours with her.
I’ve tried laying her back down 100 times in a row.
I’ve tried laying her down and leaving the room, letting her cry for 10 min, then going back in and laying her down again, repeat.
When I lay her down and stay, she plays with toys, talks, does all the things she used to do on her own when we’d lay her down and she’d fall asleep on her own. She just needs Mom or Dad there now. If we so much as think of moving towards the door, she pops up like a jack in the box, screaming.
Naps are the same. Just terrible. We’ve been down to one a day for a few months.
How can I get my perfect sleeper back! Can I ever?
I must have gotten lucky with my son, because when I decided to stop co-sleeping I didn’t haven’t do anything special and there wasn’t any sort of fight or struggle with him about it at all. We just told him he was going to sleep in his room now and it was just like, “oh, okay!” Heck it was probably harder for me than it was for him.