Q&A: Co-sleeping, Sleep Associations, and Older Kids – EP 20

May 11, 2017 |  by  |  Podcast, Q&A
cosleeping sleep associations and older kids

Podcasting is great because we basically get to opine on whatever topic strikes our fancy. But we’ve committed to periodically do reader/listener Q&A episodes to ensure that we’re hitting topics that are also interesting to you. While we get more questions than we can possibly answer, we’ve culled some great ones here that I particularly love because they’re so relatable and, frankly, funny. Sometimes, when you’re in the thick of it, it can feel like everybody else has figured out all this stuff and you’re the only one silently struggling in the middle of the night. But I promise – you aren’t. There are thousands of people listening to this podcast who are exactly where you are, as perplexed as you are, and who will breathe a brief sigh of relief to hear your story and know that they aren’t alone.

In this episode Ashby and I answer questions that deal with some fairly ubiquitous challenges including:

  • What to do when you want to stop co-sleeping with your older baby (:44)
  • How to break out of a situation where baby will only sleep with an “insane amount of bouncing” (5:45)
  • Why your toddler is suddenly fighting sleep at bedtime (11:33)
  • Why your 6 month old demands to nurse 10x a night (18:23)
  • What to do when you want to stop co-sleeping with your preschooler (23:15)
  • How to night parent an independent sleeper without undoing the independent part (29:44)
  • How to not get turned into a puddle when your partner is AWOL and sleep is a mess (34:55)

As mentioned in the episode many of these questions relate to a common core issue: sleep associations. Although the questions demonstrate how sleep association issues can manifest in vastly different ways, it is almost always the root issue. And often the answer is this.

Take a listen and let us know what you think! Got a question for a future Q&A episode? Fire away at

Podcast Sponsor

And we want to give a shoutout to our new podcast sponsor, the Reverie power bed! After you have kids your bed turns into a home base: the place you sleep, night parent infants, read books with older children, gather for family movie night, etc. The Reverie power bed can make your existing bed more comfortable for sleep. You can raise the head of the bed for easier night feeding/nursing. You can adjust the bed to aid in C-section recovery. Got swollen ankles? Raise your feet while you sleep. There are loads of ways this can help make your bed more comfortable and more functional for your whole family.

Check them out to learn more or follow them on Twitter or Instagram!


  1. Thanks for this podcast! I totally related to the mom who was worried about ruining her independent sleeper when the LO is sick- I’ve also worried about that, but usually went with what I felt was right at the time- I would usually help and comfort him if he was really sick with a virus and was really not himself and I trusted/hoped that it would be temporary and that he would go back to his great sleeping habits, which he has always done so far, but it may have taken some time to go back to normal.

    I had a question- when you have an 18month toddler on one nap, but has some mornings where he wakes up earlier (say 530am) versus a later (ideal) wakeup like 645/7am- do you still go by the clock and put him down at 12 for his nap? or would you recommend putting him down for a nap earlier but then run the risk of being awake too long before bedtime? Not sure how to handle that…thanks!

  2. Hi Sam,
    sorry no one answered over the past month, it’s been a busy time with Alexis getting her book launch ready.
    Honestly I think that you can go either way — some of our admins are strictly by the clock for older babies, but i always adjusted based on the child’s behavior. I hope you found your answer in the meantime …..

  3. Thanks for this and all your crackIng work! So…after many months of ‘we’ve cracked it’… ‘oh wait now, we haven’t..’ our 7 month old usually goes down without much fuss by herself and is pretty much sleeping from 7/7.30 until 5am feed then again til 7 – except for one mind-bendingly-excruciatingly annoying wakeup that started as an every-so-often thing but has become entrenched. Every night, religiously, around 3.15/3.30 she wakes and moans, sometimes screams, on and off for anything from 5 minutes up to an hour. Once she finally goes back down, I’m awake for another hour and then of course she’s up again for her early morning feed which she guzzles. At 3.30 it’s not hunger waking her as often my husband can soothe her with a pat and some shushing. I just about get her back to bed around 5/5.30 and but then his alarm goes from 6 until 6.30 to keep me up and she’s awake again at 7. I’m going CRAZY!!!! Any idea on what could be waking her and what we can possibly do? I feel like we’re SO close and yet so far!!

Leave a Reply